Nineteen years ago today, I stood in a small Justice of the Peace office in Slidell, La, just outside of New Orleans. Earlier that day, I had graduated from my Air Force tech school at Keesler Air Force Base, Biloxi, MS. We had gotten engaged over the phone a few weeks before, while I was in basic training at Lackland Air Force Base, San Antonio, TX. Just a few weeks prior to that, we had broken up and I had moved out. Back up a few months earlier, I had moved in with him after only knowing him for two months. Even when I look back at it, I think it’s was crazy. But, I was only 20, and twenty-somethings don’t always make the best judgement calls. (Read: Twenty-somethings shouldn’t even be allowed to make those kind of decisions.)
Back to the JP office. We were late getting there, so it was just me, him and the JP. We were handed a piece of paper with the vows typed on them. I skimmed through them quickly, briefly stopping to cross out the words “obey” where ever they appeared. (That’s a fact!) C’mon, I was 20, but not that damn stupid. It was quick and painless and we were on our way.
Why in God’s name would I marry someone I had only known for a total of 7 months, and already had issues with? I don’t know. I’ve been asking myself that for years. Best I can come up with is that once I got to basic training, I got scared to go on this little adventure all by myself. Maybe, it’s because he was fun and made me laugh and I loved him.
Do I regret my marriage? Not one bit. Would any sane person regret it? Probably. Do I regret the decision to divorce. Not for one millisecond.
I have a deep belief that everything happens for a reason. For every miserable moment, there was an equally joyous moment. But, there came a time when the bad ones started to outweigh the good. A time I knew I deserved better. A time I knew it was time to move on. A long realization that I deserved to be happy. It taught me invaluable lessons. I become a better person. And I was given two incredible daughters.
Now, if I could just get this divorce finalized, so I can start my new adventures with no unfinished business.
May 2nd, 2010 at 6:50 am
My 19th (un)anniversary will be June 22. I will be divorced by then. The divorce should have been final this past Monday. I postponed it, because I knew that while I am ready for it I didn’t have the time to deal with it. I am newly employed and didn’t want to take 3 days off to deal with it. One for the court date and two to grieve the loss of it all. And there will be grief on my part. Even though I am the one who filed I am still sad. My new court date is scheduled for right after school gets out. About a month away.
Hope all is going well for you.
May 3rd, 2010 at 5:58 am
thank you for sharing this life experience (its beautiful reading it) its real!
Blessed are those who share their trials and tribulations with others