Cats and Dogs? My God, do we even have to compare the two? OBVIOUSLY, dogs are better. EVERYONE knows that. Let’s go over the reasons why.
Cat owner’s = evil, Dog owners = good: Some well known cat owners include Saddam Hussein, Adolph Hitler, Mike Tyson and Martha Stewart. See, cat owners are B@STARDS!!! Well known dog owners? None other than Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, Martin Luther King, and even Jesus! Yes, even Jesus, son of God. How can you not like dogs better than cats when Jesus had one? What are you, SOME KIND OF HEATHEN!?!
Dogs defend people: Have you heard of guard dogs? Don’t you feel safer with a dog in the home? Even little dogs bark if someone tries to break in to give you a warning. Dogs = safety. What about cats? Did you ever see that Stephen King movie, “Cat’s Eye”? In it, some people say cats steal people’s breath. Is that what you want? To be sleeping and have some F#$%^#* cat STEAL YOUR BREATH!?! If so you deserve what you get!! What about man eating tigers? Have you heard of them? Do you want to be eaten by some f#$%!*^ species of cat? What are you, stupid???? Is that the type of behavior you want to reward in an animal?
Cats and dogs on TV: Let’s say you are stuck in the woods. Your leg is caught in a bear trap. You’re trapped. It’s getting dark. No one knows where you are. Wouldn’t you want to have a dependable border collie like Lassie getting you help? Here’s an animal that has hundreds of episodes worth of lifesaving experience. Basically all he did ever week was get his stupid owner Timmy out of jams. This is like a day at the beach for Lassie. Or would you rather have Morris the cat help you? Yeah, big help he’d be. “Morris help me, my leg is in a bear trap. Help!” Here’s Morris’s response “Meow, meow, meow, meow.” Translation “I’m a stupid cat who doesn’t really understand what you’re saying. Feed me and then I’ll wander away and leave you to die! Then I’ll come back and eat you after you’re dead. I’ve always wanted to see what you tasted like.” IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??!?!?! TO HAVE YOUR ROTTING CARCASS EATEN BY YOUR PET?!?! THEN GET A CAT!!! BUT DON’T BLAME ME WHEN YOU DIE TRYING TO CHEW YOUR OWN LEG OFF TO GET OUT OF A BEAR TRAP!!!
Dogs are known as “Man’s Best Friend”: Do you know how long and hard they had to work to earn that title? There have literally been millions of species of animals, birds, insects, etc and yet dogs got the nod out of all of them. That’s right, while cats were peeing on people’s rugs, scratching up their furniture, and ignoring people when they call them dogs were working overtime. They were fetching papers, acting happy to see their masters, and wagging their tails every time someone even LOOKED in their directions. What about rewarding hard work? What about rewarding effort? Not picking dogs after all that work is just wrong! They’ve earned it!
So would you rather have a loyal, caring pet, an animal that has worked for more than 2 millenia to earn the title of man’s best friend? Or on the other hand would you rather have a BREATH STEALING, ALMOST WILD ANIMAL THAT WOULD EAT YOU ALIVE IF IT COULD? For the love of God, CHOOSE DOGS!!!
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