Bunnie Blog

14 Jul

Rules for Dogs

1) When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.
2) The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
3) The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help, because I fall faster than you can run.
4) I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping - they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.
5) My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
6) For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine and try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered, so you might want to back away from the door once you hear the toilet flushing.. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.
7)The proper order is kiss me and then go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

2 Responses to “Rules for Dogs”

  1. 1
    jbradley Says:

    You have me in stitches with this!! Those are all too true, especially love #4 and we only have one dog & one small cat.

  2. 2
    Shauna Says:

    So, did they listen & obeying the rules yet?! Our dog is a Jack Russell Terrior (yea, a spaz!!) so he is always thinking it’s a contest wherever we go! And has tripped me a few times to try & beat me!

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