I don’t talk about my personal shit much. Well, OK, I do talk about a bunch of personal shit, but I steer clear of talking about certain things. One of those things is my poor self image, hence the reason why it is almost impossible to find a picture of me on this site, because I don’t allow pictures of me to be taken very often.
Like most women I gained weight during my pregnancies. I’m not talking a few pounds. I’m talking a good 60 pounds each time. Both times I lost most of the weight after expelling the little rug rats from my belly, but not all of it. Of course, I can not blame my current weight as “baby weight”, after all my youngest is 10, I’ve had time to lose it, right? I started off at right around 135, which I consider a reasonable number for my height (5′ 6″). Before the second kid, I was right around 140-145. A little on the heavy side, but manageable. After I lost the baby weight from her, I ended up at a steady 155, after yo-yoing to as low as 140.
About 7 years ago, I quit smoking (quit for a total of 3 years). Let me tell you what! You can pack on the weight quicker when you quit smoking than any kind of pregnancy and after nine months you don’t get to easily lose a chunk of kid and water weight gain. Although I did return to smoking, I desperately want to quit again, but I am terrified of the weight gain all over again. I am already at my highest non-pregnancy weight EVER (and no I will not divulge the number on the scale this morning, let’s just say it is between 150 and 200).
I can’t stand it anymore! I am now formulating a eating, exercise and stop smoking plan. It isn’t going to be easy and I may stumble along the way, but I figured if I put it out there I may stand a chance at making it!
Wish me luck!!!
May 30th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
just remember its not how much you weigh.. the number isn’t what you should worry about, its the body composition percentage. muscle weighs more then fat.
May 30th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
I certainly understand your frustration…I’m there myself, despite my teaching Jazzercise 6x/week…it’s a constant struggle. If only I didn’t love to eat so much! The problem is that it takes a good balance between it all! And Nikki is right…something I have to remind myself constantly, it’s not the #, muscle does weigh more! And, due to some medical reasons…I have to quit all those things I enjoy too like a nice cocktail, chocolate, and much more of my favorites. NOT FUN & NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!! So, hang in there & know you’ve got to take it one day at a time, don’t beat yourself up for a few slipups, try your best & most of all, know you always have your friends for support! (I may need to call or email ya a few times myself! :})