For the most part I had a pretty nice day, even though it didn’t start off too fabulous. First of all I didn’t get to sleep last night until 1am. I was exhausted after a full night of scrapbooking at a friends house so I crashed when I got home. At 3:30am the damn weather radio started going off downstairs. At first I was thinking it was part of my dream, then realized not so much. For those of you that don’t have one (like you dorks in Kansas…of all places!!!) you can set it up in several different ways. First of all, I have it set to weather warnings for my county and the immediate counties surrounding me. Second, I have it set to sound the siren first (which goes for about a minute or two) and then it goes straight into the National Weather Service warning info that has some dude talking about the actual conditions and reasons for the warning.
If you know me or have read this blog, you will know that I HATE severe weather. I am not from a place that has this kind of freaky ass weather. I have full on panic attacks during this kind of weather. Since I was itty bitty, I have not liked lightning and thunder. Once I was a bit older I could deal with it some what, as long as it is in the distance, not right over me. This fear has worsened since I moved to the south, a place that likes to have frequent horrible severe thunderstorms and tornadoes. Why did I move here again? Go figure.
Any how, I got up, went downstairs, listened to the dude on the radio for a sec. so that I could try to figure out what the hell was going on in my still sleep fuzzed brain. Then jumped about a mile out of my skin as a large thunder clapped. I ran back up stairs and laid down. My heart was about the beat out of my chest! I was actual worried that it was beating so loud that I would wake up Blain. For the next 15 minutes I listened to a few more softer thunder claps and went back to sleep.
When I finally got up at the crack of noon, it was nice and sunny outside and the kids had already been up at 7am and off to the neighborhood pool summer grand opening. Needless to say, they stayed there most of the day, only taking a break from 3-7pm only to return home again at 9:30pm. Blain and I had the house to ourselves, so we watched a couple of movies and mainly chillaxed. This is how Lula looked when she came home (after only a few hours in the sun). There is no question that she got Blain’s beautiful dark skin! Swear to God, she was completely white before she left. (Black mark in the middle of her back is a faded tattoo)
This afternoon I called to wish my 78 Dad a happy birthday. My Dad has Parkinsons Disease and Diabetes. I have been hearing over the past week or so from my Mom and Sisters that he is not doing well at all and that he is going down hill and is quite depressed about it. He was diagnosed with the Diabetes when I was a teenager and with the Parkinsons about 10 years ago. It has slowly and viciously broken down his body. We have all seen it happen and we all know what the outcome will be in the end, but it is so damn hard to watch it. Lately, he has been falling a lot and now has to use a walker, which I know he hates. It just breaks my heart. I really don’t want a call someday where I am told that my Dad has broken his hip or has passed because he fell down the stairs and broke his neck. It is one thing to hear everyone telling me he is doing poorly, but a whole other thing when I can actually hear it through the phone.
When I spoke to him today, it really came home to my heart. I could not understand a thing he said. Because he has lost facial muscle movement, he mumbles horribly. I sat there with tears rolling down my face, trying to sound chipper as I gave my birthday greetings. Then tried to reply to what ever it is he said in a way that made sense. He gets irratated if you ask him to repeat himself too much, so I don’t. When I hung up the phone, I went and laid on my bed and cried for a while. The rest of the day was a little on the somber side, but I tried to enjoy the peace and quiet the best I could.
Then late this evening I decided to check the forecast for tomorrow since I had seen earlier that there may be thunderstorms and the kids were already thinking about swimming again tomorrow. To my surprise, we are currently in a tornado watch. Joy!! I looked at the entire forecast that went onto tell me that they forecast this to be a wicked night. Looks like the bulk of the heavy shit will come in around 4am. Just what I need to cap off the day!
The girls and I will be sleeping downstairs on the couch. Blain is a tough guy and will sleep upstairs, until we start freaking out sometime in the wee hours of the morning. The Lexapro I am on is definitely working. I feel calm right now, with just a slight need to prepare for the worst. Without it, I would be a jumbled mess of nerves in full blown panic mode oozing across the floor right now. Instead I plan to finish up this blog and get some more scrapbooking done, because the Mother’s Day present for my Mom and the birthday present for my Dad won’t get done on it’s own and I am already getting it to them late as it is.
Forgive me for being all over the place in this post. It is kind of the way it all unfolded. My brain is all over the place too.
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