At what point did I give up the rights to all of my possessions and hand them over to a hormonal teenager? Huh? I don’t recall that being in the contract of motherhood. I would never have signed a document that said “Once this child reaches the age of 13, you agree that everything you own is now the property of said child, to include counter space in what you previously thought was your bathroom, even though she has her own bathroom”
If it’s not my make-up, nail polish or brush, it is my night table chapstick (which REALLY pisses me off!!!!!), jewelry or cell phone. It is ridiculous that I have to go through HER room every couple of weeks to collect MY stuff. She has her own stuff, I don’t blatantly steal “borrow” her stuff. Thank God she is still a midget and I am too chubbly or she would be taking my clothes too! *Note to self: Continue to cast evil spells to stunt her growth indefinitely*
I swear to God that when I snuggle into my fluffy down comforter in about 10 minutes and go to reach for my chapstick, IT BETTER BE THERE or I will freaking *SNAP!*…then gather up my handy dandy power tools and install a metal plate across the lower half of her face so that she no longer has a need to moisten her little lips! Hey, that would kill two birds with one stone! No missing chapstick and no mouthy teenager!
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