So we are backing out of the driveway this morning on the way to take the girls to school. Blain suddenly stops the truck and says “Oh hell no! I didn’t just do that!” Yep, he sure did. He ran over the tip of the water hose and damn near smashed it flat. Now this is the same water hose that Lula had drug out the other day in order to perform her fantastical water ballet show. When she was done, I told her to make sure she curled it back into the weeds front bushes, to make sure it wasn’t laying in the driveway. Did she do it? Well, most of the hose was off the driveway, save for the last four to six inches of it. Two questions here…first why did he park so close to the hose last night in the first place? Second, and most importantly, why is it that my kids don’t take care of anything. No seriously! They are careless to the point of complete exhausting aggrivation!
Blain had good reason to be ticked, not only because this is like the sixth hose end to be smashed in the last two years (all but this smashing was done at the shop by idiot employees), but because we are so tired of our two little ingrates breaking our shit! He has come up with a pretty good little plan and definitely let them know what his intentions are. When they finally move out and get their own houses, every time he visits them he is going to break something of thiers. Not anything terribly noticable, at first glance. It will be in the fashion that they like to break our things in…the suprise attack!
For example, I was unloading the dishes the other day and saw something unusual in the bottom of the dishwasher. A piece (about 1″ in length) of the handle to one of my favorite coffee mugs. Hmmmmm…the mug was not in the dishwasher rack, nor the cupboard or garbage can…just the one lonely little reminder left in the bottom of the dishwasher. I asked Blain, “Did you break my mug by chance?” Nope. So, I ask the girls this evening, “Hey, did either of you break my mug?”. Blank stares…as if I have just spoken in a language they are not quite familiar with. Moments pass, then Tal says, “I was the last one to put it in the dishwasher, but I didn’t break it”. Very interesting that she would say this considering the fact that I found the piece several days ago and we have done the dishes multiple times since then. How would she know that I hadn’t used it in the last couple of days? DAMN!!! Busted! Lula, then pipes up and says “It was already broken when I unloaded and I threw it away and didn’t want you to be mad”. Sweetie, it wasn’t like it was Royal Dalton china, but I would have liked to have been told and not have to play super secret agent detective.
So some day, just wait…several days after our visit, they will have to stop and wonder…”hmmmm…how the hell did that get broken!” and we can act like we don’t comprehend their fancy new fangled language! (Hopefully, by then, they won’t remember his warning this morning ’cause that would take all the fun out of it!)
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